Ok, this is a really obvious connection between home and self, but I’m going to do a post on it anyway!


My daughter bought a coffee table on a whim, and found that it took up most of her living room. So she offered it to me. I don’t need or want an extra table particularly, but happy to oblige, and for the cost of lunch for her and her boyfriend (which I would have done anyway), they brought the big coffee table to me. First we tried it in my sitting room. It wasn’t right there. So I dragged it into my bathroom where it was better. But because of its size I could no longer have my towel rack next to the shower. And I do want my towel rack there. How could I do this? Well, it would be possible to fit in the towel rack if I moved a mirror. This was getting a whole lot more complicated than I’d anticipated.


So, I had to unscrew the mirror. (Haven’t decided where to put it yet.) There were holes in the wall to be filled and painted over. I could hang another little mirror on that wall. Of course when I tried to hammer in a nail, it shot off under a cupboard and a lot of plaster came off. So, out with the drill, get the extension lead, check that I have rawl plugs and screw to fit drill bit (amazingly I did), clean up brick dust, and hang mirror in new place.


Towel rack now fits in between new table and shower, and all looks good – like this:



Admittedly, it was pretty easy to accommodate this new table, but it did take a bit of thought and work. Now for the obvious link to ourselves:

Life gives us all sorts of things – good, bad, exciting, terrible, sad – and we don’t usually have much choice but to accommodate them. Sometimes it can take a great deal of shifting and hammering to get things to sit comfortably within ourselves, and sometimes things remain un-accommodated for a long time. If you were to walk into my bathroom now, you wouldn’t guess as to the various jobs that I had to do to make the new table fit my home. And here’s the point: when you look at people they often look just fine, properly dressed and made up and smiling, and you have no idea how much accommodating they have had to do and how much courage they have had to summon in order to be comfortable with themselves and others in the world.

5 thoughts on “On accommodating the new

  1. Dear Daphne – this is just so you!! Not only do you have the most lovely and interesting bathroom, now enhanced by the new (well at least new for your house) but the accompanying story just says it all. And then you are always so accommodating, welcoming guests at the drop of a hat, feeding them wine / tea / coffee / or something you’ve rustled up. Thank you.

  2. Lovely analogy Daph! Some of us who are less talented than you, or perhaps less conscious about our spaces, might just sort of put things together that, well, almost fit perfectly! And I guess the application is that some of us live our lives like that also, including our relationships… too busy or preoccupied to properly integrate new experiences and, after a while, it begins to feel like something is not quite right… Then it’s so much harder to go back and reflect on what it is that’s not quite fitting cos we’ve somehow become used to the not-quite… But well worth the extra work in the end. And better late than never! Thanks for the life wisdom Daph… a useful reminder xxx

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