Recently I bought myself a new stove. Although it is the same size as my last one, it has a gas hob, and therefore place had to be made for the gas bottle. I shall not bore you with all the many changes and accommodations that I made. And I can’t tell you how many hours of labour I put into effecting these changes. Also it cost money – not just the stove, but also a cupboard to hide the gas bottle, and a kettle for the gas hob. But the point is that most people who knew my kitchen before, will not really notice any difference. What an extraordinary thing that so many of the changes are invisible and known only to me.
I think that psychological changes are often like this. No one else sees the wrestling, the tears the intense thought. We look just the same and do and say the same sort of things, but you know how different it all is and how different you are. Because we can never know the motivations of another’s heart, we just don’t know of all the invisible changes that may have happened.
T.S. Eliot said it rather well: “And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.”